Darren Karrimoor
A dysfunctional scamp with the morals and manners of a sewer rat. An eternal virgin who lives eternally in hope. his obbsession with sex, rampent exhibitionism and love of rap music often result in outbursts that would make a sailor blush. DK performs one rap in each episode all ending in his catch phrase 'BALOMORY'. The only exceptions to this are the pilot episode where he doesn't perform any and B...Lowjob where he performs two. He Is Played By Joe Tracini Series 1 B...Lowjob In series 1 DK trys desperatly to have sex with a female of the species but never succseeds. His first attempt is with a girl called Sky. Even though she is a 'big fat minger' he is still not able to woo her. He tries many things to gain her love; giving her jewelery, showering her in chocolate and of course rapping. With a poem in german he is able to make her desire him, however she jumps onto him from a second story window. Dick And Fanny His next plan is to buy his dream moped to get him lots of sex. To get the money he performs dangerous stunts for money, including sticking a firework up his bottom. He blows his money on a fruit machine but wins the jackpot. with his winnings he buys the moped but crashes in into Ollie. I Suck Coppers To avoid a drink drive charge he swallows a large amount of coppers. This backfires when he finds out it doesn't neutralise the alcohol in your breath. From this he gets copper poisioning causing his penis to turn into a 'jolly green giant' (which he calls his 'Green Love Gherkin' during the rap in this episode). We Have Been Naughty Haven't We? He gets into a prank - punishment fight with the new geography teacher. Believing himself to be beaten he goes to the principal but finds her and the new geograpy teacher having sex. This allows him to win and get a new geography teacher. Up The Botty He is examined by a fit phycologist who he does not initaly want to see. However after seeing her he decides to act mad to see her again. He is sent on a one week therepy course. However his plan backfires when his phycologist goes off sick and is replaced by someone not as attractive. Pussy Boy The end of series 1 sees DK unable to be liked by anyone. Using his magic he is able to alienate Chloe and Matt by burning Chloe's room and Jas & Ollie by scaring Ollie with a little white mouse. The series ends with him about to shoot himself. However it is a joke gun and has a flag which says 'BANG'. Series 2 Rudies 'Over the holidays he hade made a wooden puppet called Dinkie DK. With it he creates havock and eventually the Principal consficates the puppet. He calls the police who then comes to investigate. However the 'Pig' arrests him for wasting police time. 'Who Killed Alec The Dwarf? 'For the radio show DK surggests doing a rap. However this is denied and ends up playing Alec the Dwarf in Murder In A Big House. After the Principal discovers the play to be a copy of Agatha Christie's The Mouse Trap, he is forced to be in Matt's What I Did In The Summer Holidays which he interupts with a rude Rap. He is forced to pay a fine for his actions. 'French R's 'To pay the fine he becomes a life drawing model. However he gets an erection whilst modeling and is forced to beg for his job. After hearing that alcohol is 'Brewers Droop' he then gets incredibly drunk. He is then confronted by the Principal as to why he is drunk. He ends up down the pub and wintesses Jas come out from behind the bins after she has had sex with Horace. 'Black Eye He tells the story to the Principal of how he got his black eye. This includes many events that do not get him the black eye such as riding on the top of a driving instructers car and dangerous cycling. It turns out that Jas gave him the black eye after Horace has been dealt with. He witnesses the Principal punch Horace in the face. Lederhosen Hero He has a dream of the Principal. He belives that he loves her and confronts her. She laughs at him and tells him he is acctually wanting a mother figure. He also discovers that Ollie is his father figure. Doreen As comunity service he has to look after a old woman called Doreen. She turns out to be exactly like him and they end up blowing up ducks. They have a fight after she sells him out for an event at the Old folks home. He goes to repent and buys her a Linkin Park CD. However when he get to the Old peoples home she has died. He goes to see her one last time where she awakes and kisses him. Monster DK is distressed when the Principal takes a promotion. He is scared about what the new principle will be like. However he is surprise when Captain Gannett turns out to be a pushover and is able to get away with anything. Unfortuanatly he finds it's no fun to be naughty without getting punished. He helps get rid of Captain Gannett by getting the Principal back. Live Or Die He is at Ollies side whilst he is in hospital. When Ollie wakes up he sings What A Wonderful World which ends the series. Alternate Future Live Or Die In an alternate future where Ollie had never existed DK is a successful rapper 'MR K'. It is unknown whether this future would have been true as it has been shown to Ollie by the Devil. Category:Characters